Sitting on the toilet, I had a strange feeling that something wasn't quite right, and no I'm not referring to any of my bodily functions. My sixth sense was telling me something was wrong with the world. Could it be? Please god let it not be so. But yes, upon opening the stall door a crack and looking out, I realized with dismay that I was in the woman's washroom.
How the hell had I gotten here? My company sometimes sends me out to various companies in Tokyo to evaluate the employee's English level. After eating a lunchbox, I headed to the company washroom for some 'relaxation time'. Somehow I went through the wrong entrance but in hindsight, it was an honest mistake. The doors to the men's and woman's rooms are right beside each other and not clearly marked. Still, my honest mistake was in danger of getting me arrested. What to do?
I reviewed the steps that led me here. I remember breezing in and walking by the mirror where two men, well I guess women who I assumed were men, were busy washing their hands or some such. Why hadn't they seen me? Or had they? Maybe they were too shocked or embarrassed to come to my aid. Maybe they intended to run off and call the police. The two of them looked like men though dammit! I clearly remember them both having very short hair. However on recollection they were both strangely small, smaller even than the average puny Japanese man.
I think that what started the strange itching feeling of wrongness was the sudden realization that I couldn't remember seeing the men's standup urinals. My first peak out the door failed to produce them in the normal place which was across from the stalls. After a moment of furious thought, I opened the door again and took a look at the person currently standing at the sink. There was no short-haired androgynous person this time, but a shapely, attractive, young female brushing her teeth. I hurriedly closed the door again as true panic began to set in. I reviewed my options and found them to be extremely limited. The best plan I could come up with was wait until the washroom was empty and then make a run for it. The problem was that this was the woman's washroom, the female's second home, so obviously it was going to be occupied at least 90% of the time. And it was lunchtime. It being lunchtime brought about another problem. I had to get back to my desk in less than 10 minutes before the next student came in.
Suddenly I realized that the place was empty. I opened the door and told myself to bolt. But what if some girls were to come in just as I reached the door? Don't think, just go! Made it passed the stalls, the mirror, the sinks, the garbage can, out the door and… met some other guy going into the men's just as I was coming out the woman's. He looked at me in some consternation. Was he making a mistake or was I? Well I wasn't about to wait around for him to ask me. Head down in shame I picked up my pride which was on the floor, and made a hasty retreat, safe at last with the knowledge that I had been to, and returned from, a place where few men had gone before....
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